Snarky Gifts & Decor | Col House Designs Wholesale

All My Pants Are Sassy Square Block, 2 Asstd.

Bring a little class and sass to farmhouse displays with the All My Pants Are Sassy Square Block assortment. These simply designed block signs have black text on white backgrounds with distressed edges. One reads ‘All my pants are sassy.’ The other has a very subtle spiral pattern in the background and reads ‘I’m a real sweetheart and a smart ass. (It’s a package deal).’ These blocks can be displayed freestanding or hanging using the keyhole hanger on the back. They measure 4" square with a .75" depth. Tuck one or two of these blocks onto a tiered tray with beads, greenery and candles for an easy and funny everyday display.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 37013

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Be Fearless Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Feed the farmhouse soul with the food-base humor of the Be Fearless Rectangle Block assortment. Measuring 3" high by 4" wide by .75" deep, these freestanding wooden blocks feature warm tones and simple text with funny phrases. One is a soft clay-pink color and has white text reading 'not all who wander to the fridge at midnight are lost.' Another is light gray and states 'Be Fearless in the pursuit of pizza' in white. The third has gray text on a coral background and reads 'dinosaurs never had coffee and we all know how that turned out.' These block signs will look darling in the farmhouse kitchen and are just the right size to tuck into a variety of displays and locations.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38509

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Big Girl Panties Notepad

Have a little more fun facing the challenges of adulting with the Big Girl Panties Notepad. This fun and snarky notepad features a white shiplap styled background and black text which reads "Things that require big girl panties." The phrase is accented by a hand-drawn style heart and spirals. The notepad has a magnetic strip for easy hanging on metal surfaces and makes a humorous addition to the kitchen or office. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide with 50 sheets of paper.

SKU: 55016

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Bless This Hizzle Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Sass up the farmhouse with the comical Bless This Hizzle Rectangle Block assortment. These blocks feature soft color tones, mild distressing, and funny phrases in a mix of text styles. A peach colored block has white text requesting 'bless this hizzle fo' shizzle.' Another is soft gray with white wording that states 'This home is build on love & profanity.' The third block has dark gray text on a soft green tone and recommends 'Stay Awhile but not too long. Don't make it weird.' These solid wood blocks measure 3" high by 4" wide by .75" deep and are freestanding. Add one of these blocks to a tray display for the sitting room or living room for a touch of humor that celebrates the home!

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38504

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Coffee & Cuss Words Long Notepad

Coffee & Cuss Words Notepad is the perfect gift for a sassy coffee addict! Notepad comes with 50 sheets and includes a magnet on the back for hanging on filing cabinets, whiteboards, or a fridge. Design features a weathered beige background with a distressed brown border and coffee bean graphics and it boasts the phrase, "I run on coffee & cuss words" at the top. Measures 9.5" high by 2.75" wide. Made in the USA.

SKU: 50064

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Dear Life, WTH? Block Sign, 2 Asstd.

Add a fun touch to farmhouse and everyday displays with the Dear Life, WTH? Block Sign assortment. These humorous wooden blocks have a white finish with distressed edges and a mix of text and script-based designs in black. One sign asks, ‘Dear life, WTH?’ The other states, ‘Apparently I’m dramatic.’ They measure 3" high by 6" wide with a .75" depth. These blocks pair well with black and white farmhouse decor and work well for year-round display.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 6, you will receive 3 of each style when available.

SKU: 37905

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Do Not Want To Do Notepad

Easily keep track of everything you want to procrastinate with the Do Not Want To Do Notepad! This mini notepad is easily stored in a pocket or purse and it has 50 sheets and a magnet on its back. It features a weathered background with the phrase, "do not want to do list," at the top and looks darling on a whiteboard or fridge. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide. Made in the USA.

SKU: 50052

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Fun Hot Mess Square Block, 2 Asstd.

Bring a little humor to the farmhouse and life’s crazy moments with the Fun Hot Mess Square Block assortment. These 4" square by .75" deep wooden blocks have a distressed white background with very subtle patterns and simple black text. One has a light chevron pattern and reads ‘At least I’m a fun hot mess.’ The other has a pale spiral pattern and reads ‘I just asked myself if I’m crazy and we all said no.’ Display freestanding or hanging via the keyhole hanger on the back. These blocks make a great addition to office decor and mix well with a variety of styles and colors.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 37015

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Get Naked Wood Block, 3 Asstd.

This assortment of three designs on freestanding wooden blocks are printed with humorous phrases that are perfect for a guest bathroom. The phrases read “Flush it, flush it real good,” “Get Naked,” and “So fresh and so clean, clean.” The blocks each measure 3” high by 6” wide by 0.75” deep.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 6 you will receive 2 of each style.

SKU: 34567

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Give God a Headache Notepad

Have a little laugh at the challenges of life with the Give God a Headache Notepad. This tongue-in-cheek notepad features a white shiplap background and black text reading "Sometimes I wonder if I ever give God a headache." The phrase has small, hand-drawn style embellishment underneath for a cute little accent. This notepad is great for hanging in the kitchen from the magnetic strip, or in the office, or anywhere you might need a fun accessory for jotting down notes. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide with 50 sheets of paper.

SKU: 55010

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Grading Papers Notepad

The Grading Papers Notepad makes a great gift for teachers – especially those with a sense of humor! This white, shiplap style notepad features 50 pages and reads "I have PTSD from grading papers." in black text. The magnetic hanger makes it perfect for hanging on the refrigerator at home or filing cabinets and metal desks at school or the office. Notepad measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide.

SKU: 55009

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Grateful For Your Crazy Thin Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Get a little cheeky in the farmhouse with the playful Grateful For Your Crazy Thin Rectangle Block assortment. These wooden blocks with distressed white finish measure 2.25" tall by 6" wide by .5" deep. The blocks are freestanding and have humorous phrases in black typewriter style text. ' One cheers 'You're the best Mom. Keep that shit up.' Another offers 'Let's talk about your feelings. (jk… i love you).' And the third states 'Grateful for your crazy ass.' These blocks mix an understated design with more over-the-top phrases that will add some surprise and humor to displays with black and white farmhouse decor or accenting soft colors.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 18, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 38496

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I Didn't Lose My Shit Today! Notepad

Sometimes just getting through a day is an accomplishment and the I Didn't Lose My Shit Today! Notepad is a snarky reminder of that sentiment. This humorous notepad features white, shiplap-styled pages with the phrase "I didn't lose my shit today!" in black. Notepad has a magnetic hanger and 50 sheets of paper. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide.

SKU: 55005

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I Like My Coffee Hot Distressed Metal Sign

The playfulness of the I Like My Coffee Hot Distressed Metal Sign will be a fun addition to kitchen and dining décor. This metal sign is white with distressed edges. It reads "I like my Coffee Hot (Just Like My Husband)" in raised, black text and script. There is a small image of a coffee cup with steam rising from it it above the word coffee. This sign will fit perfectly with other coffee décor or with kitchen and dining displays. Measures 7" high by 14" wide by .5" deep.

SKU: 65190

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I Run on Coffee and Cuss Words Dish Towel

A cotton dish towel in a light grey color that reads “I run on coffee and cuss words” is a fun expression of your love for coffee and profanity in a classically farmhouse medium. Measuring 28” high x 20” wide, this towel depicts coffee through an embroidered illustration of a coffee cup above black and white stripes. The entire towel is made up of a waffle pattern, allowing for added absorption.

SKU: 19152

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Inappropriate Square Block, 3 Asstd.

Bring chuckles to farmhouse displays with the Inappropriate Square Block assortment. These fun wooden blocks have a white finish with distressed edges and a mix of text and script-based designs in black. They measure 4" square and have a .75" depth. One declares, ‘If you’re going to suck the life out of me please take the fat too.’ Another reads, ‘Wow that was rather inappropriate... Let’s be friends.’ A third states, ‘You’re my favorite bitch to bitch about bitches with.’ These blocks make unique gifts for friends or would look great paired with other black and white farmhouse décor.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 37902

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It's So Damn Cold I Just Farted Snowflakes Notepad

Baby, it's cold outside, but the It's So Damn Cold I Just Farted Snowflakes Notepad will make it a little better with its witty humor and festive design. The mini notepad has a red and black buffalo check pattern with the image of a snowman in a cozy polka dot scarf and classic black top hat. It reads, "It's so damn cold outside I just farted snowflakes" in black lettering. This adorable holiday accessory has 50 lined pages and features a magnetic strip that is perfect for hanging on refrigerators all season long. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide and is made in America.

SKU: 54093

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Just Bless This Mess Block, 2 Asstd.

Bring a little snarky humor to the farmhouse with the Just Bless This Mess Block assortment. These white, solid wood blocks have lightly distressed edges and a keyhole hanger on the back. One block reads ‘Just bless this mess because I give up.’ in black distressed text. The other reads ‘Eat like no one is watching…or dance, whatever.’ in black text on a subtle, aged zig zag pattern. These blocks add a little fun and humor to tiered trays or hanging among other signs in a wall display. Signs measure 4" square with a .75" depth.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 37012

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Let That Shit Go Summer Fruit Tiny Mini Sticks, 4/Set

Remember to kick back and relax this Summer with the Let That Shit Go Summer Fruit Tiny Mini Sticks set. Two blocks with handwritten style black text have funny phrases on white backgrounds with distressed edges. The matching fruit-themed blocks sport watercolor style closeups of fruit. One shows three slices of grapefruit while the other shows four yellow pineapples with leafy green tops. The worded blocks read 'shhh…i'm overthinking' and 'let that shit go.' These blocks bring beauty and smiles when added to a tray display with a summery pitcher and glasses or other drink themed decor.

SKU: 38476

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Mamacita Needs a Margarita Dish Towel

When the farmhouse turns into the party house, this light grey, cotton dish towel is there to help clean up the spilled drinks. Reading “Mamacita needs a margarita” and featuring an illustration of a margarita, it is a fun addition to any country-inspired kitchen. Measuring 28” high x 20” wide when opened up with a waffle pattern fabric, it is designed to be more absorbent than an untextured towel.

SKU: 14723

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Maybe Swearing Notepad

Express your inner thoughts in peace with the Maybe Swearing Notepad! This mini notepad has 50 sheets of paper and a magnet on the back for display on a whiteboard or fridge. It features watercolor-style flowers in two corners and the phrase, "Maybe swearing will help," at the top. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide. Made in the USA.

SKU: 50048

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Mirror Mirror What the Hell Square Block, 3 Asstd.

Add a humorous accent to surfaces across the farmhouse with the Mirror Mirror What the Hell Square Block assortment. These 4" square wooden block signs have a .75" depth and white backgrounds with distressed edges. They feature a variety of trendy black text-based designs. One block asks, ‘Mirror mirror...What the hell?’ Another reads, “I hope it’s the last season of this shitshow.’ A third states, ‘Employees must stop crying before returning to work.’ These fun blocks would look great on desks, bookcases, or kitchen countertops.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 6, you will receive 2 of each style when available.

SKU: 37901

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Mothercluckers Dish Towel

This gray cotton dish towel is embroidered with black and white stripes below the phrase “rise & shine mother cluckers” and an illustration of a rooster. This towel measures 28” long x 20” wide, and is a great way to add humor to kitchen decor.

SKU: 29108

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My Way Through Life Thin Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Simple design mixed with dramatic phrases add to the humor of the My Way Through Life Thin Rectangle Block assortment. Made of wood and featuring mildly distressed white backgrounds, these 2.25" high by 6" wide by .5" deep blocks have snarky phrases in black typewriter style text. One states 'I'm just WTF-ing my way though life.' Another block says 'Coordinator of the entire shitshow.' Keep that shit up.' And the third proclaims 'If one more person says I'm dramatic I'm going to light myself on fire.' These funny little blocks are easy to slip into a variety of spaces to spice up existing displays or tuck into a gift for a "dramatic" loved one to inspire many laughs!

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 18, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 38494

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No Talkie Before Coffee Distressed Metal Sign

Add some humor to the morning coffee routine with the No Talkie Before Coffee Distressed Metal Sign. The sign features a distressed black background with aged, white wording. It states "No Talkie Before Coffee" in a mix of text and script. This prominent sign will remind family and guests that coffee comes first, then the day can start. Display hanging or leaning with other coffee décor or other black and white items. Sign measures 11.5" square by .5" deep.

SKU: 65188

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Overthink Notepad

Easily weigh the pros and cons of any situation with the Overthink Notepad! This mini notepad can be kept in a pocket or purse and it has 50 sheets and a magnet on its back for convenience. The design features a weathered background with the phrase, "things I need to overthink," at the top and it looks darling on a whiteboard or fridge. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide. Made in the USA.

SKU: 50054

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Sarcasm Served Daily Thin Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Serve up a dose of sassy humor with the Sarcasm Served Daily Thin Rectangle Block assortment. These simple wooden blocks have a lightly distressed design with scuffed edges and black typewriter style text. They measure 2.25" high by 6" wide by .5" deep. One reads 'Sarcasm Served Daily' while another states 'I know your lane sucks but stay in it.' The third states 'Sorry, no speak dumbass.' These blocks will add a touch of sharp whit to a variety of displays and they pop nicely against soft natural tones and textures.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38495

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Sentence Enhancers Rectangle Block, 3 Asstd.

Brush up on some colorful language with the humorous Sentence Enhancers Rectangle Block assortment. These blocks come in subdued but pretty colors and have simple text in gray or white. They measure 2.75" tall by 4" wide by .75" deep and are freestanding. A creamy yellow block sports gray text that reads 'I don't get nearly enough credit for the things I manage to not say out loud.' A pink block with white text reads 'you call them swear words… I call them 'Sentence Enhancers.'' The blue block has white text and states 'autocorrect has yet to figure out how much I swear and how little I talk about ducks.' These playful signs add a bit of humor when dropped into shelf or table displays for a little color!

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38506

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This Is Why I Drink Notepad

This Is Why I Drink Notepad lets you tally every slight in style! This mini notepad is easy to pop into a pocket or purse and it boasts 50 sheets of quality paper and a magnet on the back. Its design features darling watercolor-style flowers on the top corners and the phrase, "My plans to find a rich husband," at the top. Measures 5.75" high by 4.25" wide. Made in the USA.

SKU: 50044

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Tight Shipwreck Rectangle Block - 3 Asstd.

Turn exhaustion into humor with the spirited Tight Shipwreck Rectangle Block assortment. Each lightly distressed wooden block has a soft color scheme and a simple text design in white or gray. They are freestanding and measure 3" tall by 4" wide with a .75" depth. A pink block states 'getting real sick of pants and responsibilities' in gray. Another quips 'I run a tight shipwreck' in white on coral while the third is gray and reads 'exhaustipated: too tired to give a shit.' These cheeky blocks look great with everyday greenery or colorful Spring or Fall florals. They're great in home displays but also make fun additions to office decor!

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38511

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Tinsel In A Tangle T-Shirt

Need a little comic relief this holiday season? The Tinsel In A Tangle T-Shirt is sure to do the trick with its witty banter and stylish design. The humorous tee boasts a teal color and reads, "Don't get your tinsel in a tangle" in large white script. It features five sizes and a flattering unisex fit that makes it great for a multitude of body types. The tee has a breathable cotton fabric in blue that is soft to the touch and ideal for all-day wear. Style with jeans and your favorite Christmas accessories for a festive look all season long. Designed and printed in the USA!

SKU: L79

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Tinsel In A Tangle T-Shirt XXL

Need a little comic relief this holiday season? The Tinsel In A Tangle T-Shirt, XXL is sure to do the trick with its witty banter and stylish design. The humorous tee boats a teal color and reads, "Don't get your tinsel in a tangle" in large white script. It features five sizes and a flattering unsex fit that makes it great for a multitude of body types. The tee has a breathable cotton blue fabric that is soft to the touch and ideal for all-day wear. Style with jeans and your favorite Christmas accessories for a festive look all season long. Designed and printed in the USA!

SKU: L79XXL

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Toilet Block Sign, 2 Asstd.

Toilet Block Sign is crafted from wood and comes in two assorted designs with funny phrases like, "hello, sweet cheeks," or, "nice butt" in bold lettering. Blocks have a painted finish and exposed edges and look great on a shelf or countertop. Measures 3" high by 5.75" wide by .75" deep.

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the minimum quantity of 12, you will receive 6 of each style when available.

SKU: 34964

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Too Pretty To Work Summer Fruit Tiny Mini Sticks, 4/Set

Toss of the responsibilities of the day with the Too Pretty To Work Summer Fruit Tiny Mini Sticks set. This set consists of four wooden stick blocks that measure .75" high by 4" wide by .5" deep. They have white backgrounds with distressed edges and black text on two blocks. These blocks read 'a beautiful mess' and 'too pretty to work.' To accent these phrases, pretty watercolor fruits appear in close-up format on the other two blocks. One has a juicy red watermelon with black seeds and the other sports four sunny yellow lemons with green leaves. These refreshing blocks look great as a set or split up in pairs with sitters and signs from our lemon and watermelon decor!

SKU: 38474

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We Meet Again Rectangle Block - 3 Asstd.

The We Meet Again Rectangle Block assortment will spice of everyday farmhouse displays with a bit of snarky humor. Lightly distressed finishes in soft colors grace these freestanding wooden blocks. Each features a funny phrase in gray text and measures 3" tall by 4" wide by .75" deep. A clay-pink block states 'the older i get the more i understand why roosters start their day screaming.' A light green block reads 'Dishes. We meet gain you dirty bastards.' The third block reveals 'i do not have enough coffee or middle fingers for today' on a butter yellow background. These blocks will add a touch of lightly jarring humor to pretty floral displays or make a great gift for that feisty friend in your life!

Please note: This item features an assortment of designs which are each sold individually (not as a set). When you order the price break quantity of 12, you will receive 4 of each style when available.

SKU: 38512

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Wish You Were Beer Dish Towel

From one beer lover to another, this fun light grey, cotton, farmhouse-inspired towel is the perfect addition to any home bar. The black embroidered illustration of two beer steins and the phrase “wish you were beer” is a pun that anyone could appreciate. Measuring 28” high x 20” wide with a waffle pattern that provides added absorption, it is functional as well as stylish.

SKU: 29412

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